Barbara’s Mission & Motivation

Dysfunctional families are the majority in today societies.  What does that mean for us, who are part of this kind of family dynamic, many good things? However, in order to take advantage of them, first we must be honest with ourselves and find the balance in our lives.  This requires seeing ourselves more clearly and honestly.  We are not defined by where we came from but what we do with our lives. The clearer we can see ourselves the easier it becomes to take what we have learned from our family experiences and move on to find happiness, fulfillment, and serenity.

Easy to say, but how does one do this?? For me it took facing challenges that I had to overcome. I hope for others you can discover your balance in an easier manner. Ask yourself what it would take for one to have that position in life that they want.  Is it possible? To achieve this you would need to know how to face challenges and turn them into opportunities.  As an example, when your boss turns into a monster and alienates: his counter parts, his employees, the client, you know how to stand aside and let him . . . get fired. You keep your senses and handle the situation knowing the end result. When others do not know how to keep a promise, would you not make that same mistake? Remember when you were a child and your parents made a promise that they didn’t keep how did you feel.

Many coming from dysfunctional families have a distorted view of perfection. Do you accept that we are all imperfect and the people who work for you, with you or above you all have imperfections? This gives you the advantage of accepting yourself and others. Who wouldn’t want such a person working with them?!

How about relationships?  I had a man in whom I had an interest tell me because I was from a family of dysfunctional parents, I would not make a good marriage mate. Was he right? Ask yourself if this is true about you. How do you handle problems in a relationship? My answer to this question was the opposite of what I saw while growing up in my family.  I did not resort to alcohol, fighting, name calling, or abusing my children. NO! Coming from a dysfunctional family doesn’t mean that we will accept that behavior as our role model. Still we must have a balance in all these various behaviors and reactions that many of us observed as a child.

How did I come to these answers in life? I experienced all that I have written above in many unique adventures. I learned living in a dysfunctional family can be useful in today's world.

I share some of the many successes that can be traced to what I learned from my dysfunctional childhood in my writings, my books. Not your everyday squabbles but adventures in many countries. In dangerous situations in the many places I have lived; I am still living in three different countries at the present time. I continue to experience firsthand how grateful I am that I have been able to use what I learned in my youth and applied them in today’s world, a society of dysfunctional imperfect human beings that I understand and can work with or against based on my experience as a kidnap victim, mistakenly accused of drug trafficking, part of the mob, jolted in love to finding real love and now living a successful, happy life.

My goal is now to demonstrate through my writings, and books, how the lessons learned from a dysfunctional family can be used to your advantage.

See and talk things over with her.